Let Him Deny Himself
“And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’”
Self-denial is neglected by many Christians because they don’t like it, don’t understand it, or have never considered it. It is at the heart of being a Christian. No Christian can afford to neglect it. We must not only study it, but also practice it. Jesus defines it as following him, as coming after him. There is always a cost to following Christ. There were many who followed Jesus who turned back from following because the cost was too high (John 6:66).
There are two basic ideas to denial. First, we may deny knowing someone or something. This was what Peter did. He denied knowing Jesus (Matt. 26:34; 27:69–75). It is the idea of disowning someone. The other meaning has to do with disregard. This is what Jesus refers to. We disregard ourselves. If someone jumps into stormy seas to rescue a drowning person, he does it disregarding himself. He forgets about himself and gives himself to the other person. This has the idea of sacrifice. The sacrifice is self. Imagine that a father receives some candy and then his son asks him for it. The father gives it to his son instead of enjoying it himself. This is the idea.
Denying ourselves is different from what we deny. We may deny things good or bad, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that we have denied ourselves. The idea behind self has to do with loving oneself and loving things good for us. We are required to love our neighbor as ourselves. This may involve sacrifice. When we sacrifice self, it may be that we must deny that which is good for us. It may be something profitable to us. We tend to think of denying ourselves the bad things. This is what we ought to do. However, Jesus primary idea is about denying that which is beneficial to you.
The Puritan Francis Roberts says that God’s people are characterized by a life of self-denial. They are required to “yield up themselves in an entire self-denying, self-resignation unto God.” The Puritans developed a two-world view regarding life. They lived in this world and they looked forward to the next world. Their way of looking at life is beyond most of us today. We are not disciplined enough. We would consider their method of living far beyond us because we would see it as depriving us of things. We live as the Epicureans did. We generally assume this life is all we have and we must enjoy all things now, because if we don’t get it now, we won’t get it afterward. So we tend to make every effort to find contentment, fulfillment in the here and now. Just listen to some radio preaching and you will invariably hear this.
Radical self-denial would make us miserable so we ignore it. We prefer self-indulgence and are spiritually fat and sluggish. Just try some serious exercise for an extended time. It will cost you something, yet according to Paul, that exercise only profits a little bit (1 Tim. 4:8). Paul’s point to Timothy was that godliness is profitable not only for the future, but also for the present. Bodily exercise holds no value for the future, yet godliness in the present is just as hard to discipline yourself in. You have to pay the price for both.
The Puritans were convinced that the joys of heaven would more than compensate for their self-denial here. This is why they were spiritual giants. We are dwarfs by comparison. But why we should we be content to be dwarfs? Paul doesn’t expect us to be, and neither should we. Self-denial is married inextricably to a life of faith and repentance. Faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and repentance toward God lead to a denial of self. Our focus is God-ward and not man-ward. So following Jesus involves denying yourself. You cannot follow without this self-denial. A follower of Jesus is a disciple. So, self-denial is at the heart of being a disciple.
But self-denial is not enough according to Jesus. We are also required to pick up our cross. If we seriously gave thought to the Cross more regularly, we would find ourselves occupied with Jesus’ work for us. It would shape our thoughts, our conversation and our behavior. The cross is not about the hardships you put up with. A husband’s cross is not his mother-in-law. A mother’s cross is not having to pick up after children. A child’s cross is not about doing homework now when they want to play video games. The cross that Jesus is referring to is about death. It is death to self and, if necessary, physical death for Jesus’ sake. We are to be prepared to walk in the way of death.
This is not what our culture pushes at us. We are constantly encouraged to prolong life. Speak to your doctor, we are always told. I do not mean that you should go and kill yourself. That would be sin. That is not what Jesus means. He means that you must be willing to die for him. He also means it might mean dying like him. Isn’t it surprising to find that Jesus speaks in this way regarding the cost of following him? We are to deny and die. Only when we have done this does Jesus say “and follow me.” Discipleship is a daily and then life-long experience.
We don’t cease to be disciples when we sin. There are no perfect disciples. What we do is get back on the pathway of denial and death, because we know we are to be conformed to the image of Jesus. Denial and dying are not easy. Nothing makes them easier. If you figure out some way to make it easier, it’s not denial and death that you’ve changed. It means you’ve deceived yourself. Why is it that we always try to make what Jesus says easier? We always try to reduce his demands. God never reduces his demands. He has never changed his moral law. It is still the same. It cannot change because it reflects who God is. Dietrich Bonhoeffer understood discipleship as the result of costly grace and not cheap grace. He said “…cheap grace was grace that we bestowed on ourselves…cheap grace is forgiveness without repentance…cheap grace is grace without the Cross.” So, without the Cross, there can be no discipleship. Bonhoeffer put it this way: “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”
Calvin put it this way in his Institutes (III.7.1, 2): “We are not our own: let not our reason nor our will, therefore, sway our plans and deeds. We are not our own: let us therefore not set it as our goal to seek what is expedient for us according to the flesh. We are not our own: in so far as we can, let us therefore forget ourselves and all that is ours. Conversely, we are God’s: let us therefore live for him and die for him. We are God’s: let his wisdom and will therefore rule all our actions. We are God’s: let all the parts of our life accordingly strive toward him as our only lawful goal.. O, how much has that man profited who, having been taught that he is not his own, has taken away dominion and rule from his own reason that he may yield it to God.” He further says, “God is so displeased, both with those who court the popular breeze and with such swollen souls, as to declare that they have received their reward in this world.”
This is the essence of self-denial. We are not our own. We belong to another. We must live as if we do. It will require hardship and discipline. It may mean the loss of all things here and now. Are we prepared to give up all things for Jesus as Paul did (Phil. 3:7, 8)? This is the price to follow Jesus. Self-denial always thinks of others before self. If we die to self we will be willing to die for others. That’s what Christ did for us. He’s our example to follow.