I Am Ashamed & Blush To Lift My Face To You

“And at the evening sacrifice I rose from my fasting, with my garment and my cloak torn, and fell upon my knees and spread out my hands to the LORD my God, saying: ‘O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens’”

Confession of sin is an important subject in Scripture. We find some very profound confessions in the Bible. There is Ezra’s confession here in Ezra 9. Nehemiah also makes confession in Nehemiah 9, and Daniel does the same in Daniel 9. King David made confession in Psalms 32 and 51. Confession is crucial to fellowship with God. If we refuse to confess our sins, then we cannot expect to receive forgiveness.

The Hebrew word is yadah. It has a variety of meanings. Literally, it means to use the hand as in holding it out. It can mean to physically throw something (e.g. a stone). It can mean to worship with hands extended or outstretched. It can mean to bemoan or lament (the wringing of the hands)—which is what Ezra did. It is a complete assessment of self before God. God is to be adored and praised for who he is. God is to be acknowledged because he is the one sinned against. In the New Testament, the word for confess(ion) ishomologeo. It literally means to say the same thing. We agree with God’s assessment of our sin. If God says something is sin, then we must say the same thing about it. This confession, in either the Old or New Testament is not to be mechanical, as if we were going through the motions. That would be a false confession. Confession contains the element of grief of sorrow, and repentance is part of it. A child maybe scolded for some wrongdoing, and be warned against it, and then go and do the same thing again. If there is no remorse, pain, sorrow or grief, then you know there is no repentance (at least visibly)—and repentance is demonstrated by not committing the sin again. Confession contains the ideas of acknowledgement and agreement.

In Ezra 10:1, we find Ezra weeping as he confesses the sins of the nation and his own sins. In Ezra 9:3, he tore his clothes and pulled out the hair of his beard and head, and then sat down appalled. That’s real confession and repentance. There is mourning over sin. There is pain and suffering. We have become accustomed to sin today. We have developed immunity to it, and therefore we don’t recognize it for what it really is. It is offensive to God. It is a stench to God. He is absolutely holy and pure and cannot look upon sin. God does not lack the power to forgive sin, but he completely lacks the indulgence of it. Isaiah said: “Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear(Isa. 59:1, 2). The prophet Habakkuk put it this way: “You who are of purer eyes than to see evil and cannot look at wrong, why do you idly look at traitors and remain silent when the wicked swallows up the man more righteous than he?” (Hab. 1:13).

The fact that God does not reach out and obliterate everyone is a mercy in one sense. This is gracious providence in action. He puts off the execution of his eschatological wrath and judgment for a time, but this only means a more intense future wrath. This is why Paul urges us to know that today is the day of salvation:“For he says, ‘In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.’ Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation” (2 Cor. 6:2). Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”

Sin is so prevalent that we might not recognize it when we see it or hear it. For instance, Paul says in Ephesians 5:12 that “it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.” Sin is so open today. The internet and television assault our senses with a battery of sins that we quickly become dead to it and tolerate it. We might only recognize the evil of something if we were with someone else, and then shame or conscience might drive us to refuse to listen or watch (which would be a good thing).

Ezra was so appalled at the sin and guilt of his people that he sat in shock the entire day. I would like to develop that kind of sense of shame with my own sin. It was said of John Calvin, that when his wife’s daughter (his step-daughter) was found guilty of adultery that he shut himself up in his house for a few days because he was so ashamed to be seen in public. We are not like this anymore. It is because we are exposed to sin so much that we are not affected by it as we ought to be. Perhaps we grow tired under the labor of constantly refraining that we end up tolerating sin. Taking the middle road can be the road of toleration and affliction. Lot took the middle road and ended up in Sodom, and he vexed his soul daily with what happened in Sodom (2 Pet. 2:7).

Developing a sense of shame is essential to true confession. It is also essential in fighting sin. It promotes resistance. People don’t blush anymore. Sin has made us casual and careless. We no longer feel guilty. Our society and culture constantly seeks to eliminate guilt. But feeling guilty is designed by God to bring the awareness, not only of sin, but also of God. Ezra said that he was ashamed and that he blushed to lift up his head before God (9:6). The word for blush (kalam) indicates humiliation in view of public disgrace. The same word is used in Isaiah 50:6 which can be applied to the Lord Jesus, “I gave my back to those who strike, and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard; I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting.” All confession should be accompanied by shame. Shame leads to remorse. And remorse, if it is godly grief, leads to repentance as Paul said in 2 Corinthians 7:10: “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” What is significant about Paul’s words is that godly grief and repentance are connected to salvation. There is no salvation without sorrow or grief for sin, and there is no salvation without repentance of sin. This is of benefit to all relationships. Husbands and wives should live in this way with each other. Mutual accountability is a beneficial thing. Children should be taught the same.

When Ezra prayed to the Lord, he fell on his knees and spread out his hands out to God (9:5). He is submissive and humbled and he entreats God. Confession requires careful consideration of guilt and sin. Humbling ourselves is necessary before God. We must not be like the Pharisee who prayed in the Temple (Luke 18) justifying himself, but we must be like the tax-collector who left the temple justified by God. The right attitude in prayer and confession before God is essential to being received by God. God is able to judge our motives without a word being said by us. Adam and Eve’s response to their sin was that of self-justification and blame. Sin is not a medical disease. It is soul disease. It kills the soul and ultimately lands the body in hell. It was Jesus who said, “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matt. 10:28). True confession leads to action. Ezra’s prayer was heard and he and his people put their sins away. True confession leads to restoration and forgiveness: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9). Pray that we all develop an increasing sensitivity to sin like Ezra.